To take leave of a loved one is not an easy task, but it may still be a very beautiful and healing experience. Having a ritual for the last goodbye can be a great comfort, especially a ritual that bridges the past, present, and future.
An ecclesiastical funeral is the final farewell of the relatives and friends to the deceased and the proclamation of the Christian message of resurrection, hope and comfort. At the service, thanks are said for the life of the deceased and for everything that other people were allowed to share with her or him. The grief of what we have lost or experience is put into words.
To arrange a funeral or memorial service in our church, please contact our pastor. The pastor will come to your home or meet you in the church to arrange the funeral or memorial service. Please contact the pastor before setting the final date of the funeral.
The funeral or memorial service itself usually takes place in our church, but if you prefer, our pastor can come to a funeral home of your choice.
You are most welcome to contact our pastor well before there is a need for a funeral service. Home and hospital visits are an important part of our pastor’s work, and getting to know the pastor outside of the Sunday service is beneficial for all parties.
To arrange a funeral or memorial service in our church, please contact the Church office to schedule a meeting time and, perhaps, set a date for the service. The pastor will come to your home or meet you in the church to arrange the funeral or memorial service. You can discuss choices of hymns or psalms you’d like read. The funeral or memorial service itself usually takes place in our church, but if you prefer, our pastor can come to a funeral home of your choice. You are most welcome to contact our pastor well before there is a need for a funeral service. Home and hospital visits are an important part of our pastor's work, and getting to know the pastor outside of the Sunday service is beneficial for all parties.
The service can take one of four following forms:
The casket is present in the Sanctuary during the service. The pastor does the committal (the three handfuls of sand on the casket, the Lord’s Prayer, and the blessing) in the Sanctuary as part of the service.
After the service, the casket is taken to the hearse outside the church. The congregation watches the hearse leave. Burial or cremation may follow. In case of cremation, you may want to scatter the ashes at the Dolman on the Memorial Walk.
The urn with the ashes of the deceased is placed on a little table in front of the altar. The pastor does the committal (the three handfuls of sand on the urn, the Lord’s Prayer, and the blessing) in the Sanctuary as part of the service. If you wish, the service can conclude with the scattering of the ashes under the dolmen on our front lawn.
Neither casket nor urn is present. In most cases a little table is put up in front of the altar where you may place a picture of the deceased along with flowers and a candle.
The service usually lasts about half an hour (provided only the pastor gives a eulogy). Scattering of the ashes immediately after the service adds five to ten minutes.
Regardless of the form of service, you may want to decorate the church. You are expected to provide flowers for the two large vases on the altar. The vases are about 8 inches tall and have an inside diameter of a little more than 2 inches. Keep in mind that the wall behind the altar is red. We will put candles in the holders in the pews. If a table is put up in front of the altar (in the absence of the casket), you may decorate that table with a picture of the deceased and flowers of your choice; we provide a candle.
Some families make a small display of photos of the deceased in the church hall if they have refreshments there after the service.
The Church will be open about one hour before the service is scheduled to begin. If you wish to det up pictures or a memorial table in the hall, you can come early and do so. Florists may deliver during at this time as well – or during office hours.
The funeral or memorial service includes two to four hymns. We prefer that you choose hymns from our hymnal, Grant me, God, the Gift of Singing (or Den Danske Salmebog)., but if you have special requests, please inform the pastor, who will of course be glad to assist you.
Funeral and memorial services are usually mainly in English but you may want part of the service to be in Danish. For example, the Lord’s Prayer (Fadervor), the Benediction, or even a hymn could be in Danish.
If the casket is present at the service, you will need six pallbearers to carry the casket out to the waiting hearse after the service. Please plan that the pallbearers are seated so that they can easily be available when needed.
If you desire, the Ladies Auxiliary to our church can arrange refreshments in the Church Hall after the service. You may either contact the Auxiliary directly (see the church newsletter) or through the office: at office@danishchurch.vancouver.bc.ca or by phone at 604.298.6112.
Some like a Danish style luncheon, while others prefer coffee and wienerbrød (Danish pastry). The Auxiliary buys the foods, prepares and serves them, sets the table and cleans up afterwards.
You may wish to place a plaque in our Memorial Walk. You can order a memorial plaque through the office. When the plaque is installed on the Memorial Walk, the Church will notify you so you can have a quiet moment in memory of your loved one.
The funeral or memorial service is over, but that does not mean that the grief or sense of loss isn’t over. If we can help with anything, please ask. And do come to church so that you too can be comforted by the hope of life eternal. As part of our service on All Saints’ Sunday, our pastor reads the names of those whose lives have been celebrated with a funeral or memorial service in our church during the past year.
We do not charge a fee for a funeral or memorial service. We do however expect a donation. Your donation should cover the pastor’s and organist’s time, the candles (if wanted), song sheets, clean-up etc. If the Ladies Auxiliary provided refreshments after the service, they will pass their out-of-pocket expenses to you. You may want to thank the Ladies Auxiliary by donating a sum to them. Donations to the Ladies Auxiliary will be on top of the expenses charged. Thank you!
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